…I almost killed myself
I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.
I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.
That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.
Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.
Thank you man at McDonalds.
The milkshake saved my life
I hope you all can read this and remember to be kind
The smallest of gestures can save a life. My Mum answered her phone when I called and I am alive today because of that.
I’m glad you’re here.
It’s a phone call, a milkshake, a friend.
I feel like I shouldn’t keep reblogging this but when I do more people see what kindness can do…. I don’t know. Love everyone as yourself.
Nah, keep rebloging it. It gives hope.
walked sobbing around a city once wearing a summer dress in mid-september thunder and rain. basically dragged myself into LUSH as the smell of the store always made me smile. the shop was empty and dead due to the weather, just this blonde short woman behind the counter who smiled at me. i stared at her feet and asked ‘do you have anything for people who are scared a lot?’ (i was so out of it i had no clue). she showed me two bath bombs, one pink and one blue, and said both were good – i chose the pink, paid for it and left. i then sat at a bus stop clutching the LUSH bag in one arm and my prescription meds in the other – i’d lied and ordered a refill so i could just drift away with sleeping pills. when the bus arrived and i was out of the rain, i decided to have another look at my bath bomb, smell it and what not. opened my bag and saw she’d put the blue one in there for me as well and written on the receipt ‘feel better soon 🙂 hope you like x’.
no one had ever been so selflessly kind to me before, i didn’t know what to do with it except hang around long enough to use the other bath bomb.
Actually I’m going to reblog this again because of the truth of the inverse: think of any time you have been casually cruel or petty to someone for humor or because you weren’t in a great mood.
The power of small gestures goes both ways.
Some days all it took was a smile from a stranger to give me the strength to go through one more day and survive. It’s in the little things
One time I went to the chemist to buy hair dye and razorblades (my hair was bright blue at the time) and the lady at the register complimented my hair so nicely that I put back the razorblades.
Oh, this gives me so much hope. I coincedentally have a McDonald’s story as well, but it was in the morning, and I didn’t want to get up. But, just the mere thought of the hot cakes was enough. And the girl who gave me my iced coffee was very sweet. For me, just the mere count of good food made me live more, despite noone really paying attention to my sullen face. It was enough. Small thoughts are enough. Maybe next time that you’re thinking bad, think about your favorite things without context, it helps me. I hope it helps you too. Stay alive, my friend. ❤
Tag: suicide tw
This is so real, honestly I’m just trying to make it to play Kingdom Hearts III
Years ago when my PTSD/depression was really bad I always made sure I had some kind of cookie dough or cookie dough mix in the house. And then if it escalated and I got the impulse to kill myself, I’d start baking cookies instead. And then I couldn’t do it because the cookies were baking. And once the whole process of preparing the dough, preheating the oven, baking the cookies, and letting them cool was over usually at least half and hour had passed and my meds had kicked in and I’d be like “well I guess I have to live now because I have freshly baked delicious cookies.” And then I’d just snack on suicide cookies a little bit at a time for the rest of the week and weirdly enough it helped.
This is brilliant. I need to do this. I love baking so much. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. I should make a fuckton of cookie dough and freeze it. I also need a recipe for perfect freezable “suicide cookies” because that’s just the perfect dark millennial humor that tickles me.
I’m glad you like this idea because I always want to tell people about the concept of “suicide cookies” (or really any kind of physical self harm cookies) but not everyone has my fucked up sense of humor and I worry about offending people by accident.
The day I came out, everything was taken away. Everyone who had said they loved me …no longer did. x
As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too.
I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.
This is something everyone should see. Thank you for sharing this.
Transformers kept me alive. When the 2007 movie was announced I was going through an incredibly hard time emotionally. I saw the preview and every time I thought about killing myself I thought, “but then I won’t get to see this thing I’ve always wanted to see, good or not.” And it got me through.
I’m in a place where I live for myself now, but don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own.
don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own