Tag: q

englishmajorinrepair:

Some Asshole: You can’t be! Truly yourself! If you’re on medication! It’s changing the Real You™!

Me: if the real me is going to lie on the floor for 3 weeks and try to drown herself in the river I don’t want to know her, Barbara

giraffesonparade:

giraffesonparade:

giraffesonparade:

I am drunk and on my way home walked past this truck that had pictures of fish on it and said ‘meat without feet’ I laughed so hardr

MEAT WITHOUT FEET

this got more attention than I thought it would

racingbarakarts:

racingbarakarts:

My fiancé just whispered in my ear, “you’re my secret Santa”

so I said “what?”

And he went, “ah shit I meant soulmate”

The boy forgot the word for soulmate and his brain thought, “it’s called secret Santa”

champagnepadre:

*horoscope pops up on my dash* i love this shit so muc… let me read what it says bout me *horoscope is negative* …..this is so ugly and wrong who takes the time to make up lies about me and the moon? disgusting

trainzelda:

Just drove past some graffiti that said “butter is a milkshake” and honestly, I cant argue with that, but I want to meet the guy who felt strongly enough about it to put on a street sign