heisjohnlocked:

Things John does that amaze Sherlock

– John can peel an orange in one long strip within an average 20 seconds

– One time Sherlock woke up at 4:00am from a long, post-case nap to the sound of John on the phone, talking loudly in Pashto and laughing.

– Sherlock is not sure what John said, but the Met dispatcher who used to glare ice picks at him now waves and says “How are you holding up, dearie?” every time he walks in.

– John can name any actor on television within 1.3 seconds, even just by voice or a partial view of the face.

– John can make any room feel comfortable. They were once trapped in a locked vault for the night, and despite his annoyance and fear, John had balled their coats into a little sitting area, hung his vest over the glaring emergency light, and coaxed Sherlock into a four-hour deduction game.

– John can distract Mrs. Hudson for a truly remarkable length of time, long enough to dispose of a lab pig properly even.

– John can crack his left ankle indefinitely.

– John can carry on a full conversation while sleeping. Almost got him to confess where the cigarettes were stowed.

– John can sleep anywhere. He says he learned it in the army but after their night in the vault Sherlock now knows it began much earlier when John had to work nights during the school year to keep Harry fed.

– John can go from furious to laughing if you know the right keyword.

– John can look across a busy crime scene, catch Sherlock’s eye, and answer whatever need he finds there. Lestrade has given up trying to figure out how.

– John knows which nights to stay up a bit later, to keep the telly on at a dull murmur, to make meaningless comments and human noises as Sherlock sits like stone a few feet away.

– John can’t summon taxis or figure out the quickest route between two opposite sides of London, but he can make the tube rattle a little quieter and the streets feel a little warmer.

– John stays. Despite all logic and after everything that has happened, everything that Sherlock has done, he stays.