The piano played by Paul McCartney in the song ‘Hey Jude’ (The Beatles) is the same piano Freddie Mercury played in the song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ (Queen)
– Wanna ride his/her face? Do it. They’re grown. They will find a way to breathe.
– Afraid to have sex with the lights on? Girl, they knew what they signed up for, flaunt them stretch marks. Guarantee you that your confidence will turn them on even more
– Double chin troubles? Search for contouring videos on youtube
– Trouble with confidence? Walk with your shoulders back and your head high, I promise you it works
-Scared to eat in fear of judgment? Please eat, they’re probably not paying you any attention and if they are? Fuck em
– Worried about if you could get away with wearing that? Well I’m telling you that you CAN
And last but not least important, ALWAYS remember:
some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me
other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand
so some of yall know i work in a bar as barback/kitchen employee as a night gig.
anyways we had a harry potter trivia event tonight and some of these team names are fuckin hogwild levels of funny. like.
we have one team that was just straight up “team edward”, who, halfway through the event, changed their name to “team jacob”
There was Wingaydium Lesbiosa, which, u kno, #mood
At least 4 different quidditch teams (puddlemere united, holyhead harpies, etc), which wouldn’t wouldn’t have been funny on its own but literally every runner up (2nd and 3rd tied, total of four teams) was a quidditch team
and of course, the actual winner of best team name, hilariously appropo considering Canada’s recent weed law changes:
Amber 