slightly-taller-than-a-hobbit:

Bilbo: My husband is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Bofur: get a divorce.

Fili: Tackle him.

Ori: Kick him in the shin. 

Kili: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him! 

Thorin: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

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